Thursday, January 14, 2016

Five items

          As I awake from my slumber, I realize, I'm in a jail cell. Most of my night is groggy. I reach in one of my pockets and I find five random items, that might help me remember. The first item are car keys to a 2015 ford mustang. Then it comes to me, I got arrested for breaking into a ford dealership for stealing the mustang. The next item I found in my pocket were a pack of peanuts. I was puzzled until I recognized the rapping. It was to the local zoo. I must have wanted to feed some elephants and swim with penguins I guess. the next thing I dug out of my pocket was a dollar bill. But this wasn't just any dollar bill. It was signed by the rapper Drake. The dollar said " To my main man Wyatt, happy 21st birthday. The it hit me. I went to the Drake concert last night. The next time was a note, in girl hand writing this time. It had a number on it with a heart and  note that said call me. I remembered meeting a girl named Sarah last night. Should I call her? The last item was a shot glass. It said birthday boy on it. I finally had the piece to put the whole puzzle together. What a crazy 21st birthday.
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5 comments:

  1. Michaela BauerJanuary 17, 2016 at 12:14 PM

    Sounds like a pretty crazy night! :) The biggest thing I see is some grammar and punctuation errors. In your 4th sentence, it should say, "The item was". The next sentence should say, "Then it came to me". The word "the" should be capitalized in, "The next thing". Also, "To my main man Wyatt, Happy 21st Birthday" should have quotations and be capitalized in spots. There are a couple more errors after that, but the other biggest thing I see is that you switch tenses a lot. Either keep it in present tense or past tense.

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2016 at 4:12 PM

    Thats one wild 21st birthday night. You should for sure call Sarah and meet up with. This was a pretty good story overall. There were some errors made hear and there. Other than that I enjoyed reading it.

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  3. AnonymousJanuary 17, 2016 at 4:12 PM

    Thats one wild 21st birthday night. You should for sure call Sarah and meet up with. This was a pretty good story overall. There were some errors made hear and there. Other than that I enjoyed reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJanuary 22, 2016 at 9:45 AM

    It is very good some spelling errors but other than that it was really good.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJanuary 22, 2016 at 9:49 AM

    It is very good some spelling errors but other than that it was really good.

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